It has been 3 months and 5 days since my younger sister, Leslie Marie Huckins Moreland passed away. She died Saturday, August 14, just 6 days after Anders was born. Honestly, I think I'm still in shock. Now that we're all settled in with the baby, I finally have time to reflect and digest the fact that someone I have known their entire life, is gone. And the fact that that someone is my baby sister is eating me up.
Leslie struggled with a lot of things in her short 23 years of life. I wish I could have made it better for her and believe me, I tried; we all did, but some people just have to save themselves. She was almost there. Had she lived, I know she would have been a changed person, not just medically, but truly a changed person inside. But she fought as hard as she could and then went peacefully. My family's lives are forever drastically changed; my mother lost her child, the 4 of us lost our sister and her young son lost his mother. I've never known so much sadness until now. But in the midst of it all, so many positives emerged. Our family has never been closer, life is precious and we cherish each other and let each other know how much we love them everyday. Also, Leslie had a wonderful circle of friends; each of whom showed their love and respect while she was in the hospital those terrifying weeks and at her viewings/funeral. My mom and our family could not have held ourselves together if it hadn't been for them rallying around us and taking care of us. We are all one family now...and it feels wonderful.
There is not a single day that goes by that I don't think of her and have a cry. I scoop up my sweet little boy and wish that she could have held him, that he could know the Leslie that I've known practically my whole life. He makes it a little easier and in that respect, I'm so very thankful and lucky. I'm not sure the pain will ever go away completely. It just runs too deep. But I know she loved me and I loved her and while she was only here 23 short years, she lived her life and I can say I am proud to be her big sister.
Leslie struggled with a lot of things in her short 23 years of life. I wish I could have made it better for her and believe me, I tried; we all did, but some people just have to save themselves. She was almost there. Had she lived, I know she would have been a changed person, not just medically, but truly a changed person inside. But she fought as hard as she could and then went peacefully. My family's lives are forever drastically changed; my mother lost her child, the 4 of us lost our sister and her young son lost his mother. I've never known so much sadness until now. But in the midst of it all, so many positives emerged. Our family has never been closer, life is precious and we cherish each other and let each other know how much we love them everyday. Also, Leslie had a wonderful circle of friends; each of whom showed their love and respect while she was in the hospital those terrifying weeks and at her viewings/funeral. My mom and our family could not have held ourselves together if it hadn't been for them rallying around us and taking care of us. We are all one family now...and it feels wonderful.
There is not a single day that goes by that I don't think of her and have a cry. I scoop up my sweet little boy and wish that she could have held him, that he could know the Leslie that I've known practically my whole life. He makes it a little easier and in that respect, I'm so very thankful and lucky. I'm not sure the pain will ever go away completely. It just runs too deep. But I know she loved me and I loved her and while she was only here 23 short years, she lived her life and I can say I am proud to be her big sister.
I love you, Leslie Marie!
11/17/1986 - 08/14/2010
♥ RIP ♥
11/17/1986 - 08/14/2010
♥ RIP ♥
:( i am glad that you have anders to help you thru this hard time. even though i had not seen leslie much the past few years she was like another sister to me. you guys are my other family..then and still now. i love all of you guys and hate that you are having to deal with the pain of losing a sister/daughter/mother. i love you!
ReplyDeleteWe love you too! Thank you for being a true friend throughout this entire ordeal. It means a hellauva lot!
ReplyDelete